dArknEss

9 something just now...the area here covered with darkness, absence of light--no electricity..for more than half an hour i think..until now 1018..gosh..i was trying to leave a comment to my fren just now n suddenly it's like making sound 'pop'..i tot something happened on my pc...but luckily not...
i looked outside from my window...few buildings here are same...i was thinking...duh..since the building surrounding mine also without 'ray'..should b not taking long to fix it la...

wat i did without the net...played games..guitar..chit-chatted...tat's all...n yet..i warmed the soup on the stove...yea...i hav something to share with u guys...the pic taken just now...ohoho..ntg special la actually...just the brightness or fire i found in the dark...ta-daa....

Aha!!!made me think of something..while i was in the camp for NS...i guess u'll never have the chance to c the stars in the dark as we're staying in city..well, i'm trying to say even the rural 1...There is a night when i was walking back to the dorm..thinking where were the brightness come from as the long path got no light(even with the lamp post)...something amazed me while i looked up...wow....try imagine as u can touch the stars....that's wat i saw....wuhoo...that's the once...perhaps there r still chances...


looking forward for a chance at beach...laying there...with stars in front of u...n the sounds of wave..the sounds of silence..peaceful night....n peaceful mind...
~end~

AunTie JaNie

Aih...after finished my LSP class...i terus walked to my car n get the accounting n finance referrence book..then, of coz pi DK la...while waiting for the lecturer...we craps alot...'later i wanna complained bout this ah..that ah..this ah..that ah..' n bla bla bla..n we wait for bout 20 minutes...less than 30 minutes la i think...well...that time...many already left the hall... since i'll have my group discussion for microeconomics at 5pm..so continued waiting la...wat to do huh?...

so i opened up the book..after reading fill lines of words, a janitor walked in to clean the floor(of coz la...abo zo hamik??) ..mayb she dun hav to do this if we were having class...sweeping n mopping..
i was with my headphone on my ears...n the janitor talked to us(left my fren n i)..of coz,i can't heard her as i already used to the bassy music n without bothering stuff surrounded me...felt that stg wrong as my fren looked at me...took out the things from my ears immediately..n the janitor asked again, 'will u all have class until 6pm?'...the started with the explaination....n i continued to my book after that...

errr...when i was on my way to the washing room, i walked to the janitor..hesitating what should i call her...then i voiced out..auntie..aha..to satisfy my 'kayponess' i asked 'Auntie, do u sweep everyday?' n she answered ' Yeaaa..of coz, not only sweep..i also hav to mop everyday...' 'all lecturer hall here?' 'including the small one, else..someone will go n complainted' i was wondering...so many halls in that building...n she needs to do that repeatly everyday...need meh?won't tired de meh?won't bored de meh?...n...got so many larp sarp meh?even got also those dust n hairs also ma...
aih...n we start chit-chatting..aha..she told me she has to use 2 n a hlf hour to walked home(this is the reason y i write this post)even the fastest also needed more than 2 hours...wow!wow!wow!can u imagine....one way...from usm to batu uban....2 n a half hours...n she spends 5 hours daily on the way to workplace n home...finished working at 6 but reached at 830...'those people...everytime complained complained but only pay me 500 ringgit' 'what??!!!500?'em...i couldn't imagine if i were being paid 500 ringgit...walked 5 hours...sweep n mopping floor everyday...n the work's rotating...oh my!!!how can it b...n NO WAY!!

Since we have so many hostel available, y dun just let them tumpang there?em...i hav no qualification in saying so...but..their welfare...should not b ignored...

'Thanks god for giving me strength, i still can work.', she said..
really ashamed to hear that.....

blurday

Went to my fren's birthday party few days ago..hmm..nono...last week..it was near swimming pool side at her bro's condominium...
a fren asked me at that time, whether have any idea for my 21st birthday..honestly..i never thought bout it..i told her, i dun hav birthday..
em..still left less than two month..what am i going to do on that day?NO IDEA...

《祝我生日快乐》
曲：周杰伦 | 词：郑中庸 | 编：林迈可

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点
诚实 难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁

一个人坐在空荡的包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
难.想切歌切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点

生日快乐 我对自己说
蜡烛点了 寂寞亮了
生日快乐 泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切

还爱你 带一点恨
还要时间 才能平衡
热恋伤痕 幻灭重生
祝我生日快乐

forever

Another post for today..inspired by my fren's status on facebook..
Appreciate whatever u have now..those are not necessary belong to u...u hav to know..
regret of the mistakes i did..neglected something that i should pay more concern on..
just feeling helpless when i can't make up..chances given to me..but i missed out..i deserve the pain...i'm no longer the reason for blissful n happiness to someone anymore..
4647782568

iNgRatE

i was borne in moderate family..as my parents can afford my needs since i was small..
financial problem knocked our door few years ago..but it doesn't affected much on me..n i learned to b more thrifty..
sometimes really feel like i'm being over protected by my mum, mayb i'm the youngest..n tat's y..she always gives me more than i need..in financial way..mayb to some of u..u may think tat it's good..but i dun like this kind of 'privileges'..
she's always forgive my mistakes..n even the big one..i used to told her all my secret since i was small..but now..i found no courages to tell her what're the things inside my mind..

First no-on post

Slept at 5am last night,later than that i think..that was 5 something when i was still awake..
n hence, i absent for today morning's breakfast appointment n' badminton..
em..what i did in the sleepless night?i read a diary, which not written by myself, but belongs to me.

Before that, i found a card inside a box which i keep all the letters, cards more...a cny card from a best fren...budak..aha..cute fren..who treats others sincere..n there's a photo sticker inside the card..since now i still can't recognised wch 1 is her as there're 3 person in that small sticker..n another sticker in japanese language,ermm...need to asked for her translation i think...

There're always contradictions..As when i was reading the diary, i kept thinking..is the person changing or the feeling's faded..it's like 2 totally different people, how terrible..but y it doesn't happened on me? emm...mayb i'm changing in other ways which i didn't realise..

Am i attached to materials?well...yea mayb...coz that's the only reason i utilitised myself..of coz it's from my ownself n not from others
until now..i still can't find my own goal..i should say that...set up a new goal for myself..lost myself for nearly a year...the regretness still following me..

let BYGONES be BYGONES

well...bought a new wallet, to replace the old 1 tat i used for bout more than 3 years..i was using it only for my cards n papers..
now only realised that it had been few years i never buy myself a wallet..there was always someone who cares bout those stuffs more than myself, but now, i need to bother bout that..

there's a hole in the top middle part of the wallet(for chain i think), n i was feeling like wanna put something on it...and so, it reminds me bout a chain from someone special..i was keeping that chain in pocket of sling bag years ago, without hanging it, but last few month..my mom helped me to wash it since i was placing it at the same place for a long time n she tot that i'm not going to use, she was thinking to give it to someone else i guess...that's her attitude...n...she took out all the things (including the chain)....*long gases*.....hmm...i'm just trying to say that i forgot where did i keep the chain...i spent bout more that an hour just now just bcoz of that little thing..that's not the matter, but it kept recall those time..the period which will never wash out from my memories unless i get amnesia..finally, i found it inside another bag.*sigh*..but now i'm hanging another one n keeping the one i mentioned in drawer..

it's almost a year..n in this period..i was trying to made myself adapt to new things, as busier as i can..but there're always chances for me to make myself fall deeper..n even now..the situation still remain..

i thought i already made it, i already dump all these memories, n i'm gonna started a new one..but i was being recalled by a fren, a best fren whom really interested in my relationship status..aha(the kay po one,yea..i'm talking bout u)..i was being asked for few times, 'who's the person?'..and i asked myself repeatly also..as i hope to answer her..and i really wished there would b another person rather than the one..but there's no alternative...

n..i received a link..haven't finished it yet,but bookmarked it..click here for a look..
hmm, if i'm not hiding it..is there someone else can help me out?my answer would be no...perhaps there's one..by clearing my memories?ermm..honestly..i met no trouble..it's just that i still can't let go as i am trying hard to..no one can help me seriously..er..i should say that i need no help..let bygones be bygones..it's tough enough..

PEOPLE

A man with only physical,he is nothing. zombie?
What bout' man with only mental?well mayb i should say...with only mind or spirit...perhaps not as so-called 'man' anymore...thinking for a suitable term....can it b 'soul'?...duh...nonsense la...

no idea on this post, but just gotta feeling to write something...well,mayb trying to escape from my larp sarp paper...again...i'm running away from reality, responsibility as well...

learning to changed my temperament...whenever there's the chance for indignation n sorrow, try using another expression...or keep my mouth shut(tat's the way i used to the most, as i always find no defence for myself...em...not even finding..urhuh)

well...treating other sincerely..therefore it's no secret hiding..well..mayb it can b used as a joke...or topic to others...who care? as i'm telling all truth...
i'm not regret of what i did,but if i were given a chance to turn back the time, i will not tell...less annoyance...less topic in other way...